Why I am a Terrible Fan
I have a love/hate relationship with Baseball. In April I am infatuated, can't get enough. May starts to get frustrating because usually my team hasn't awaken from its slumber. June and July just seem to disappear into the summer ether. August seeks the truth as now the teams are what they are, and then finally the grueling, gut wrenching September. My joy of going to games goes from love it in April to dreading it in September especially if my team is in the Hunt. How is it that I can't watch my favorite team when it becomes crunch time?
In April you have tons of games left and watching is just a joy after the long winter months but then September hits and I squirm, my butt hurts, and every out is an eternity. The joy has gone and now it becomes torture. I spend an inordinate amount of time studying the game, reading the game, running numbers of the game. I know that if the Rox score 5 runs they have a better than 50/50 chance of winning, that if a pitcher throws about 24 pitches in an inning odds are that the opponent has scored a run, and that when the win blows from left field to right field at Coors the number of home runs increase.
With all this in my head I study the game, I accept the randomness of it all, but then September comes and passion takes over. Numbers to me go out the window and suddenly the rawness of the game becomes too much. Having been an athlete, the desire to be an active participant takes over and just sitting there on the bench knowing I can't make a difference just eats at me. The nerves, excitement, the ups/downs just remind me how much of being part of something competitive can get to me. All of this just leads me to believe I am a terrible fan because I can't sit and watch my team when the games become important. My belief, my bedrock of support just wilt and suddenly I find myself thinking the worse. Instead of winning the tight games, the myriad of things that can go wrong suddenly become apparent. So when my team needs my support, I find things to do instead of watching and only revel in their victories through highlights and wrap up stories.
It is as if my anti-support will truly matter and actually help them win! So this is my deluded view as a baseball fan. Care passionately for most of the season but when crunch time comes distance myself so that if disappointment comes I have a buffer layer but if success occurs I jump in saying I was with them all the way. Ultimately whether I support my team is truly irrelevant. My being there or my watching them isn't going to determine whether they win or lose no matter how dedicated of a fan I am and I don't have the karma to determine winners and losers. If I did know the outcome then I probably wouldn't be that passionate about the team! So I admit I am a terrible baseball fan but is it so bad to be passionate?
I sent in my question to the Denver Post fan mail and they picked my question?